DRACARYS! High Flying Birds Season Preview
A Brief History
2015 marks the ten year anniversary of High Flying Birds joining the Defectors. For a few seasons, he was known to us as The Incognators; a soft landing spot for the Larry Bigbies, Sidney Ponsons, and Hayden Penns of the world. To be sure, there was more substance to the roster than that and Incogs gradually constructed a team that could compete for a playoff spot. This, despite burning a 2007 lotto pick on the bespectacled one, Kei Igawa.
Things came together in 2010 when he rode thoroughbreds Miguel Cabrera and Carlos Gonzalez to the 8th and final playoff berth. Solid, if unspectacular pitching was augmented by a magical half season from fat-groundball-man, Carlos Silva neè The Hutt. Incogs was unceremoniously dispatched by the 1 seed and eventual champion Otto-man Empire in the first round.
In 2011, High Flying Birds arose from the ashes of Incogs like a Noel Gallagher shaped phoenix. Sadly, that phoenix promptly missed the playoffs and Birds entered a three year stretch of suffering the indignity of being a lottery team. Sources say a new baby may or may not have had something to do with it. 2013 was a particularly brutal one as Birds finished 7th in total points but fourth in his own division with a 73-89 record. Tobias Fünke and world’s foremost analrapists (analysts/therapists) are still trying to figure that one out.
Armed with a great pitching staff and a balanced lineup, Birds made his triumphant return to the playoffs in 2014 leaving no doubt by posting the 5th most points and a 94-68 record (+21 wins from the mind-fuck 2013 season). Western Division champion Shapecity did the honors of sending the Birds home in the first round of the playoffs.
Top ML Hitters for 2015
Adrian Beltre is a stud. Dude has been doing work for 16 (!) years now and his only weakness is Elvis Andrus’ right hand. Despite a bit of a power outage last season, Beltre still managed a terrific year in the batter’s box while playing very solid defense.
Similar to Beltre, Matt Holliday keeps churning out very productive seasons but Birds’ offensive success might hinge on Lorenzo Cain and Lucas Duda building upon their breakout performances of a year ago. Cain became a star in the 2014 postseason for the Royals, capturing ALCS MVP by hitting over .500 for the series. Duda spent the season mashing taters once the Metropolitans finally ditched the Ike Davis experience.
Any discussion of Birds offense has to mention Jorge Soler. The 23 year old Cuban was decidedly unimpressed by minor league pitching in 2014 and when he reached the majors he continued punishing the baseball. Expect a big season from Soler near the top of the Cubs lineup as the full time right fielder in 2015.
Top ML Pitchers for 2015
Birds has built a monstrous pitching staff lead by a two-headed fire-breathing dragon. Jose Fernandez and Yordano Ventura are the bane of radar guns existence. They also both feature wipeout breaking balls that have made more than a few professional hitters look silly.
(Edit: I was had by a cruel, cruel April Fools joke) The baseball world is surely rejoicing with news leaking today that Fernandez will start opening day for the Marlins (that’s 10 months removed from TJ if you’re counting). Get ready to fire up your mlb.tv subscriptions and change your underpants.
Another bright spot in the rotation is Wily Peralta. Wily Wily showed great improvement in his sophomore season and will look to continue pushing his K numbers up and BB numbers down.
2 Prospects for the Future
The cupboards a bit bare here since Birds has traded many of his recent drafts away. Still, Steven Souza is MLB ready now and should get lots of playing time for the Rays this season. Nick Gordon is also a nice piece and if his twitter feed is any indication, he appears to have God on his side.
Minor League Difference Maker for 2015
The cupboard may not feature a lot of prospects but there are quite a few interesting pieces that could supplement Birds’ major league squad in 2015. Matt Adams, Daniel Murphy, Tommy Hunter, and Jonathan Schoop are all champing at the bit to get the call.
Projected Record
Birds continues to trend in the right direction, overwhelming teams on a nightly basis with a barrage of starting pitching and very good offense. Jose Fernandez returns and teaches the world how to love again. He throws no-hitters against the Mets and Phillies in consecutive starts then decides gravity isn’t really for him and pitches the remainder of the season from a state of levitation. High Flying Birds goes 97-65 and clinches a WC spot in the playoffs.
