There Can Be Only One Highlander! Bklyn Royal Giants Preview
A (not so) Brief History
Bottom of the 9th. Two outs. Bases juiced. Game 7, 2006 NLCS. Carlos Beltran strides to the batter’s box facing a two-run deficit and a rookie closer. Beltran, then at the height of his powers, had spent the last two postseasons hitting roughly .900 with approximately 300 home runs against the St. Louis Cardinals. He was the guy.
250 miles to the northwest in the vast frozen wasteland that is central New York, Bklyn Royal Giants stews in his college apartment. Ever the optimist, Brook attempts to conjure a reverse-gypsy jinx (more on that later) that would carry his beloveds to victory and a World Series appearance.
Fastball down the middle: strike one. Curveball on the inside corner: fouled off Beltran’s foot for strike two. Then this (NSFW). A yakker so filthy that it must have been forged in the depths of hell by Hades himself. The aftershocks of which are still being felt to this day in the Defectors fantasy baseball league…nay, THE WORLD.
It was not Brook’s first experience with heartbreak, and it would not be his last.
Brook joined the Defectors before the 2006 season and posted a respectable 87-88 record (Defectors schedule making has improved since then) while finishing 10th in points. 2007 marked Brook’s first playoff appearance, squeezing in as the 8th seed. Unfortunately, his first round opponent was 2-time defending champ Shup, who dispatched him with ease.
Undeterred, Brook rode Cliff Lee and the Youker to the 2008 Defectors Cup finals. Going into the final day of the series, Brook held a tenuous 13.5 point lead over the Florida Devil Rays (known at various points in their Defectors history as Missouri Mets and Missouri Miracle, ironically enough). Like a Wainwright curveball to the dick, The D-Rays threw down an immense 101.5 points to secure the Cup by a miniscule 9.5 point margin. Unreliable sources claimed that Brook was inconsolable after the loss and spent much of November 2008 listening to 808s & Heartbreak on repeat.
A couple of seasons of early playoff exits followed, but in 2011 Brook looked primed to contend for the Defectors Cup. Despite the second best record in the league, the Royal Giants entered the playoffs as the 5th seed (#1 ranked wild-card team). Brook curb-stomped his 2008 nemesis, Louisiana Demons (neè Florida Devil Rays) in the first round. Pess didn’t fare much better in the semi-finals. In the finals, Brook met his division rival and back-to-back Defectors Cup champ The Otto-man Empire. In a wild, back and forth series, Brook faced a 98.75 point deficit heading into the final day. As he had tried during that 2006 NLCS so many years ago, Brook attempted to conjure a reverse-gypsy jinx by typing a concession of sorts on the league message board. Unfortunately for him, Otto’s Adam Wainwright-shaped patronus charm was strong and Brook’s roaring final day comeback fell less than 7 points short.
There was only more heartbreak in 2012. After dispatching Titans in the first round and knocking out three-time defending champ Otto in the semis, Brook met Overcatz in the Defectors Cup finals. Catz erupted for an easy victory and Brook joined Anderson Nightmare as the only three time Defectors Cup loser in history.
In the words of the English poet laureate Florence Welch, it’s always darkest before the dawn. Brook cruised during the 2013 regular season, capturing the division title and #1 overall seed. He defeated Pess in a close first round matchup. He shook the devil off his back and defeated Louisiana Demons in a matchup that saw Demons post a score nearly closer to zero than to Brook’s total (678.75-345.05). Brook’s opponent in the finals was the Shüpcity Shüpürrz. After four days, Brook held a 94.15 point lead. Then it was a 30.1 point lead. Then it was a 26.1 point lead. Then it was a 12.9 point lead. It was happening again. Day eight of the series saw Brook’s lead grow to 57.05, but after day nine, the lead had shrunk back down to 36.2 points. Again, Brook summoned his most devious gypsy magic and congratulated Shup (who had more SPs on the final day) on the Cup victory before the final day’s games began. This time, it worked. Brook took his first Defectors Cup by 23.2 points and experienced a Randy Marsh-esque release. For a time, up was down, left was right, and pigs were seen taking flight from people’s butts.
The honeymoon was brief. Brook reached the Defectors Cup finals for the 4th consecutive year in 2014 and was pasted by Otto. Leading the charge was Brook's old adversary Adam Wainwright. The big righty that he'd spurned in the 2007 lotto draft in favor of Randy Wolf and Lyle Overbay set the tone for the series by throwing a CGSHO on day 1. And the baseball gods were pleased.
Top ML Hitters
Troy Tulowitzki is capable of some pretty special things on the baseball field. Unfortunately, staying healthy is the least of his powers. He’s a tease. In 91 games last year, Tulo was a man possessed, piling up points at a 5.68/game clip. That is what we call rarified air in this business. Only Mike Trout (5.78/game) and Victor Martinez (a matching 5.68/game) were in that orbit.
Despite launching only 13 homers last season, Jonathan Lucroy was a stud. He managed the 2nd highest point total among catchers last season; a total that was buoyed by his major league leading 53 doubles.
Miguel Cabrera is not of this world. In the history of baseball, few hitters have inspired more fear than Miggy. His BBRef comps are a who’s who of Hall of Famers and he’s only entering his age 31 season. Dave Dombrowski (and by extension Brook) probably deserves the Congressional Medal of Freedom for bringing him aboard. That, or a grand larceny charge. 2014 was actually a down year for Cabrera as he battled bone spurs and oh yeah an undiagnosed broken foot for the majority of the season. He’s healthy again and the Tigers brass were nice enough to pull in the fences at Comerica, so Cabrera’s power numbers should see a bump. I expect many of his 52 doubles (it was a down year, remember) will turn into leisurely trots around the bases. Miggy is just flat out intimidating at the plate. I’ve only known of one man with the courage to face him…
Top ML Pitchers
This guy. This fuckin’ guy. As cool as you like. Cooler than a cucumber on the other side of the pillow. We should have all known what type of season was in store for Corey Kluber after that fateful May 17th showdown in Cleveland. You don’t stare down a lathered-up bull like that and live to tell about it. Unless, of course, you’re the Klubot. He’s only ever smiled in his preseason team photo. Watching him pitch is equal parts mesmerizing and unsettling. Like he’s staring into your very soul and undressing you with his eyes. Kluber’s Cy Young season in 2014 was magnificent, and yet, I’m not even sure he’s the best pitcher on this staff.
Madison Bumgarner, Chris Sale, Max Scherzer, Zach Greinke. Aces the lot of 'em. I’m fairly certain that the pitchers on Brook’s staff who don’t strike out 200 in a season feel such shame that they are tempted to commit seppuku.
Minor Leaguers for the (very near) Future
Lots of young talent on this minor league roster but I’ll highlight a couple of young lefties in Daniel Norris and Carlos Rodon here. Norris, whose name is contractually obligated to be preceded by the adjectives “eccentric “ or “quirky” dominated three levels of minor league ball last season. He made the Blue Jays staff out of spring training and notched his first big league victory at Yankee Stadium last week. Rodon, Chicago’s (AL) first round pick last year, features some stinky cheddar and two very good offspeed pitches (slider and changeup). An early 2015 call up looks like a foregone conclusion at this point and once he’s up, I imagine he’ll be there for good.
Projected Record
The pitching staff is elite. There is help on the way to offset the loss of Cliff Lee and the uncertainty surrounding Matt Cain. Miguel Cabrera is Miguel Cabrera and Troy Tulowitzki is due to have a healthy season. Brook romps and stomps to an all-time Defectors best 128-34 record. He captures the inaugural Willie Harris Division and the #1 seed in the playoffs, coasting to his second Defectors Cup. #reversegypsyjinx
